Just a short on how fate can really bite us.
~ceci
Saturday, 16 April 2011
#11 - this is me acknowledging how dessensitized I am.
I felt a post about war was needed.Just like how I think we need war to survive.
The ugly truth is,war is more like a glacier than Vonnegut describes. Sure, it's gonna happen whether you want it to or not, but without it, everything dies.
The movement to become more and more environmentally safe is growing everyday. It's come to the point where my 3 (almost 4)yr old sis knows that water expands when it absorbs heat and soon the oceans will flood over our coasts. We all know that glaciers hold the vast majority of our fresh water supply and if they were ever to melt completely, half the land mass would be underwater and inhospitable.
According to Wikipedia: It is estimated that yearly, over 1.5 trillion dollars are spent on military expenditures worldwide (2.7% of World GDP). Part of this goes to the procurement of military hardware and services from the military industry. The combined arms sales of the top 100 largest arms producing companies amounted to an estimated $315 billion in 2006. In 2004 over $30 billion were spent in the international arms trade (a figure that excludes domestic sales of arms). The arms trade has also been one of the sectors impacted by the credit crunch, with total deal value in the market halving from US$32.9bn to US$14.3bn in 2008.
Our economy is closely (too closely) tied to the states, and the U.S. is the 2nd largest exporter of arms.In other words, it's a vital part of their economy. If the world agreed to some unanimous peace treaty and war really was wiped out, then many economies would plummet.So it destroys us, but at the same time it allows us to live comfortable lives.That's why it's so evil. But evil is necessary for good to exist.It tastes so good then kills you.
In my opinion,I believe stopping war suddenly (given the power to do so) is a temporary solution to a permanent problem. It's a naive approach without considering all the variables that could be affected.
Here's an interesting video I found on youtube- an opinion piece on war. Warning: It's very twisted, so if you're not comfortable with that kinda stuff, don't watch it.
http://youtube/F7HMz1WKkso
In my opinion,I believe stopping war suddenly (given the power to do so) is a temporary solution to a permanent problem. It's a naive approach without considering all the variables that could be affected.
Here's an interesting video I found on youtube- an opinion piece on war. Warning: It's very twisted, so if you're not comfortable with that kinda stuff, don't watch it.
http://youtube/F7HMz1WKkso
-ceci
#9 - 命中注定我爱你 (fated to love you)
Okay, so I've decided to write blogs on topics that I enjoy. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, there's a great drama called Fated to Love You (it's in mandarin, but their are english subs), and it deals with the concept of destiny and fate differently than SH5.
What bothers me a tad is the way Vonnegut expresses his opinions about fate. I understand that it's an anti-war novel, and it's not suppose to be blithe, but doesn't suffering contradict his message of "accept and move on"? Many parts in the book, Vonnegut mentions how Billy does things he knows will end tragically, but it never mentions Billy doing something because he knows it'll end perfectly. For example, his own death death, the plane crash, his wife's death, his abduction (abduction is not good), or Edgar Derby's death.
It doesn't have a passage like: Billy knew it was the night he was going to be abducted, but he felt satisfied knowing that his daughter would live a happy, married life.
But no. Instead, Vonnegut doesn't even mention a connection between the wedding and Billy save that it was his daughter's. In fact, Vonnegut leaves Billy and his daughter's relationship to merely the words "father and daughter". There's no description of how close they are. Billy is so detached.
I mean, I understand that he's some pretty gruesome things, but must he live through life as if he's a zombie? He doesn't have any connections with the people around him and BAH, his indifference severely bothers me.
So, how does this relate to Fated to Love You? Well, this drama deals with fate in a much more lackadaisical mood. It's a about a series of coincidences that the show mentions is fate, but the characters themselves do not accept this fact until the end. And since this is a drama, plenty of nasty things happen to them (maybe not flying body parts, but still pretty nasty in terms of blood and loss), and in the end, when they realize that it is fated for them to be together, they are happy despite the obstacles that they had to face. They are actually grateful. Billy just settled for letting no emotions out because he doesn't know how to look at things from an optimistic point of view.
I can't help but think that if one were to ask Billy if his cup was half full or half empty, he'd be too scared to admit it was half empty, but wouldn't dare to believe that it's hald full.
-Ceci
What bothers me a tad is the way Vonnegut expresses his opinions about fate. I understand that it's an anti-war novel, and it's not suppose to be blithe, but doesn't suffering contradict his message of "accept and move on"? Many parts in the book, Vonnegut mentions how Billy does things he knows will end tragically, but it never mentions Billy doing something because he knows it'll end perfectly. For example, his own death death, the plane crash, his wife's death, his abduction (abduction is not good), or Edgar Derby's death.
It doesn't have a passage like: Billy knew it was the night he was going to be abducted, but he felt satisfied knowing that his daughter would live a happy, married life.
But no. Instead, Vonnegut doesn't even mention a connection between the wedding and Billy save that it was his daughter's. In fact, Vonnegut leaves Billy and his daughter's relationship to merely the words "father and daughter". There's no description of how close they are. Billy is so detached.
I mean, I understand that he's some pretty gruesome things, but must he live through life as if he's a zombie? He doesn't have any connections with the people around him and BAH, his indifference severely bothers me.
So, how does this relate to Fated to Love You? Well, this drama deals with fate in a much more lackadaisical mood. It's a about a series of coincidences that the show mentions is fate, but the characters themselves do not accept this fact until the end. And since this is a drama, plenty of nasty things happen to them (maybe not flying body parts, but still pretty nasty in terms of blood and loss), and in the end, when they realize that it is fated for them to be together, they are happy despite the obstacles that they had to face. They are actually grateful. Billy just settled for letting no emotions out because he doesn't know how to look at things from an optimistic point of view.
I can't help but think that if one were to ask Billy if his cup was half full or half empty, he'd be too scared to admit it was half empty, but wouldn't dare to believe that it's hald full.
-Ceci
Friday, 15 April 2011
#8 - Pokemon
The idea of knowing your destiny is scary, but it can also be exciting at the same time. This concept still baffles me, but let me try to explain it in terms of...pokemon. Before that though, i'll explain how this is related to SH5. This is my reasoning of why Billy knows his destiny, but doesn't feel the urge to change it. You'll see what I mean.
Okay, anybody who's familiar with Pokemon's multi-billion dollar franchise can attest to one thing: it's formulaic. Since the first season, Pokemon has been a smash hit with adults and children alike. (Who hasn't watched pokemon in their elementary school days?) The game concept was original when it started out, a bunch of creatures that had special powers and humans could catch/train/ eat them. (I've always wondered how Brock makes his "food".) And poof, pokemon yellow/red/blue was born. You played as a guy, catching pokemon and defeating gym leaders who awarded you with badges. Anyway, after the first 150 pokemon were released and it;s popularity started to decrease, nintendo was not sure how to prolong "pokemon fever".
The most obvious conclusion any of us would make is "make something better, something original". But, defying all logic, Nintendo produces pokemon "gold/ silver". So we've upgraded from primary colors to gemstones, but what about actual gameplay? Other than some graphical advances, and 16-bit music, the underlying idea remained untouched.
The player wakes up, his mom greets him downstairs and tells him that the prof at the lab wants to see him, and he picks a starting pokemon. He then bumps into a snobby kid who claims himself your rival and battles you. (This entire sequence remained wholly untouched.) Then you travel to towns and battle 8 gym leaders like before. Sure, they added some extra features, and made up 150+ new pokemon for silver and gold, but even the puzzles in the dungeons were almost identical! If the player had played red or blue or yellow, he/she would know exactly what to do.
AND YET PPL STILL PLAY. Well, people like me.
Nintendo just keeps them coming. After silver and gold, they made a remake: crystal version (which is essentially the exact same thing except with -arguably- better graphics and some new features such as choosing your gender instead of being a boy by default.) When people got bored of that, they drew up another 150 new pokemon and created ruby and sapphire version. Then, again, they made a remake: emerald version (which is, again, the exact same thing).
Then, guess what? That got stale so they released a new batch (150+) of pokemon (including a "god") and called it diamond/ pearl version. Again, updated graphics, but still the whole wake up, talk to mom, get starter, bump into self-proclaimed rival, run errands, defeat 8 gym leaders, etc. (If you can't guess what i'm about to say next, you haven't been paying attention) THEY MAKE A REMAKE: platinum version.
So, that got stale too, and they made ANOTHER (150+) pokemon and released pokemon black and white.
I am currently waiting for a remake. Probably called pokemon grey, or something. The point is, I AM TOTALLY EXCITED FOR THIS. Pokemon has bred generations of players. So why exactly am I excited? I have no idea whatsoever. I can tell you almost frame by frame what's going to happen yet i still want to play.
Maybe, this is why Billy is willing to climb into airplanes he knows will crash.
My in game character's destiny was predestined back in the 90s when pokemon first came out, yet I still want to wake up, talk to mom, get starter... willing to buy the 3DS in wait for the remake of black and white. My friends and I all agree that the new pokemon are disturbingly ugly and unoriginal, yet we still play.
Maybe i'm just messed up (along with millions of other ppl out there), but then, so is Billy. I firmly believe that although he travels back in time to scenes he's been in over and over again, something is always slightly differemt. There is no possible way for Billy to stand in EXACTLY the same spot, or say something with EXACTLY the same amount of emotion. Just as no two pokemon games are completely identical.
Perhaps it's the little things that make life interesting and worth living.
~ceci
Okay, anybody who's familiar with Pokemon's multi-billion dollar franchise can attest to one thing: it's formulaic. Since the first season, Pokemon has been a smash hit with adults and children alike. (Who hasn't watched pokemon in their elementary school days?) The game concept was original when it started out, a bunch of creatures that had special powers and humans could catch/train/ eat them. (I've always wondered how Brock makes his "food".) And poof, pokemon yellow/red/blue was born. You played as a guy, catching pokemon and defeating gym leaders who awarded you with badges. Anyway, after the first 150 pokemon were released and it;s popularity started to decrease, nintendo was not sure how to prolong "pokemon fever".
The most obvious conclusion any of us would make is "make something better, something original". But, defying all logic, Nintendo produces pokemon "gold/ silver". So we've upgraded from primary colors to gemstones, but what about actual gameplay? Other than some graphical advances, and 16-bit music, the underlying idea remained untouched.
The player wakes up, his mom greets him downstairs and tells him that the prof at the lab wants to see him, and he picks a starting pokemon. He then bumps into a snobby kid who claims himself your rival and battles you. (This entire sequence remained wholly untouched.) Then you travel to towns and battle 8 gym leaders like before. Sure, they added some extra features, and made up 150+ new pokemon for silver and gold, but even the puzzles in the dungeons were almost identical! If the player had played red or blue or yellow, he/she would know exactly what to do.
AND YET PPL STILL PLAY. Well, people like me.
Nintendo just keeps them coming. After silver and gold, they made a remake: crystal version (which is essentially the exact same thing except with -arguably- better graphics and some new features such as choosing your gender instead of being a boy by default.) When people got bored of that, they drew up another 150 new pokemon and created ruby and sapphire version. Then, again, they made a remake: emerald version (which is, again, the exact same thing).
Then, guess what? That got stale so they released a new batch (150+) of pokemon (including a "god") and called it diamond/ pearl version. Again, updated graphics, but still the whole wake up, talk to mom, get starter, bump into self-proclaimed rival, run errands, defeat 8 gym leaders, etc. (If you can't guess what i'm about to say next, you haven't been paying attention) THEY MAKE A REMAKE: platinum version.
So, that got stale too, and they made ANOTHER (150+) pokemon and released pokemon black and white.
I am currently waiting for a remake. Probably called pokemon grey, or something. The point is, I AM TOTALLY EXCITED FOR THIS. Pokemon has bred generations of players. So why exactly am I excited? I have no idea whatsoever. I can tell you almost frame by frame what's going to happen yet i still want to play.
Maybe, this is why Billy is willing to climb into airplanes he knows will crash.
My in game character's destiny was predestined back in the 90s when pokemon first came out, yet I still want to wake up, talk to mom, get starter... willing to buy the 3DS in wait for the remake of black and white. My friends and I all agree that the new pokemon are disturbingly ugly and unoriginal, yet we still play.
Maybe i'm just messed up (along with millions of other ppl out there), but then, so is Billy. I firmly believe that although he travels back in time to scenes he's been in over and over again, something is always slightly differemt. There is no possible way for Billy to stand in EXACTLY the same spot, or say something with EXACTLY the same amount of emotion. Just as no two pokemon games are completely identical.
Pokemon red/ blue/yellow
Pokemon gold/silver/crystal
Pokemon ruby/sapphire/emerald
Pokemon Diamond/Pearl
Pokemon Black/ White
~ceci
Thursday, 14 April 2011
#7 - Humankind cannot gain anything, without first giving something in exchange...
I decided that one of my favorite shows of all time, Full Metal Alchemist (*swoons*), deserves a spot in my blog. It's got SO much substance, and the characters are so well thought-out and well developed. -goes into crazy otaku mode- The show is so good the main characters have whole wikipedia pages dedicated to them =D
Okay, the story is set in Germany right before WWI. Something like 1911. Except it's called Amestris, and it's in an alternate dimension where science progressed differently. Instead of furthering technology, Amestris has progressed much faster in terms of Alchemy (the science of turning substances into another substance. Most well known example is lead into gold). Actually, on second thought, the most known example is probably now harry potter and the philospher's stone... Anywho, it's about 2 brothers, Edward and Alphonse Elric. Ed is older, but they're both around 9. They start off with a happy family, al +ed+mom. Dad is only shown in photographs, but the glare of the light is always conveniently hiding his face. Ed and Al both like studying alchemy, and Ed is a prodigy at it.
One day, their mother falls ill and the doctor said that she's had it for a very long time. Ed blames it on his father, who we learn left them years ago. Eventually, she dies and the brothers are forced to bury her. Ed tells AL that there's a forbidden art called "human transmutation".
Alchemy is introduced as the science that brings us as close to the gods as we can possibly get. We are also introduced to the "Law of Equivalent Exchange", which Al states: Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in exchange. However, even though science has pinpointed every last element in the human body, alchemy cannot bring a person back to life. But the brothers try anyway.
The mother is revived as some grotesque mutant, Ed loses his arm as exchange, and Al loses his entire body. Ed then sees "the gate" in which he sees "truth". Ed gives up a leg and attaches Al's soul to a metal suit in the corner. The two then realize that they can't play with human life, and instead go on a journey to seek the philosopher's stone which is said to be able to bypass the law of equivalent exchange. In other words, Ed and Al can get their body's back without giving up something else.
As the story progresses, it becomes more and more clear that the journey to find the stone is a journey towards death itself. Many, many people die, and this huge conspiracy plot twist is revealed. They later find out (spoiler alert):
that it takes hundreds of thousands of lives in order to create the stone. And that there are homonculus, artificial human beings created by alchemists every time they commit the taboo, who wish to use it to become human. WWI and WWII are started (implicitly) by the homonculus in order to cover up mass death.
In the end, Al gets his body back with the stone. But, on top of the people who were killed, Ed loses his ability to use alchemy, and Al lost all of his memories of their years traveling together even with the power of the stone.
I wouldn't say that this is a happy ending, but it enforces the law of equivalent exchange. Not only a scientific concept, but an idea that could apply to almost anything. Ed continuously stresses that although he walks on fake limbs and his brother doesn't even have a body, they continue on because they're hard work will be rewarded.
Does Kurt think this? No. He thinks everythign is predestined, and we should all suck it up and deal with it. Really? Billy can only suck it up and deal with it because he can see the future. Take a hypothetical situation. Let's say I have some terminal illness. If I were Billy, i'd be accepting because I'd know already if I lived or not. If I live, well then yay. If I die, well then, it was meant to be but there's nothing I can do. Now, let's say I'm a normal human being, and WHAM, I learn of this unfortunate situation. What do I do? I can't remain calm because there' s just too much unknown. So, I console myself. I tell myself that there's HOPE.
Which leads me to my next rant. BILLY PILGRIM LACKS ANY TYPE OF HOPE WHATSOEVER. What about Pandora's box? What about that unflinching emotion that carries people through so much??? It;s like Billy has all the hope sucked out of him when he acquired the ability to travel through time. It's because he longer needs it. He KNOWS what's gonna happen.
What i'm trying to say is, at first, I thought Vonnegut was very right. Accept, and move on. Don't dwindle on the pain. But in effect, he's also saying, don't hope, because things are already set in stone. I do not agree with this at ALL. I'd rather not know and still be able to dream.
~ceci
Okay, the story is set in Germany right before WWI. Something like 1911. Except it's called Amestris, and it's in an alternate dimension where science progressed differently. Instead of furthering technology, Amestris has progressed much faster in terms of Alchemy (the science of turning substances into another substance. Most well known example is lead into gold). Actually, on second thought, the most known example is probably now harry potter and the philospher's stone... Anywho, it's about 2 brothers, Edward and Alphonse Elric. Ed is older, but they're both around 9. They start off with a happy family, al +ed+mom. Dad is only shown in photographs, but the glare of the light is always conveniently hiding his face. Ed and Al both like studying alchemy, and Ed is a prodigy at it.
One day, their mother falls ill and the doctor said that she's had it for a very long time. Ed blames it on his father, who we learn left them years ago. Eventually, she dies and the brothers are forced to bury her. Ed tells AL that there's a forbidden art called "human transmutation".
Alchemy is introduced as the science that brings us as close to the gods as we can possibly get. We are also introduced to the "Law of Equivalent Exchange", which Al states: Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in exchange. However, even though science has pinpointed every last element in the human body, alchemy cannot bring a person back to life. But the brothers try anyway.
The mother is revived as some grotesque mutant, Ed loses his arm as exchange, and Al loses his entire body. Ed then sees "the gate" in which he sees "truth". Ed gives up a leg and attaches Al's soul to a metal suit in the corner. The two then realize that they can't play with human life, and instead go on a journey to seek the philosopher's stone which is said to be able to bypass the law of equivalent exchange. In other words, Ed and Al can get their body's back without giving up something else.As the story progresses, it becomes more and more clear that the journey to find the stone is a journey towards death itself. Many, many people die, and this huge conspiracy plot twist is revealed. They later find out (spoiler alert):
that it takes hundreds of thousands of lives in order to create the stone. And that there are homonculus, artificial human beings created by alchemists every time they commit the taboo, who wish to use it to become human. WWI and WWII are started (implicitly) by the homonculus in order to cover up mass death.
In the end, Al gets his body back with the stone. But, on top of the people who were killed, Ed loses his ability to use alchemy, and Al lost all of his memories of their years traveling together even with the power of the stone.
I wouldn't say that this is a happy ending, but it enforces the law of equivalent exchange. Not only a scientific concept, but an idea that could apply to almost anything. Ed continuously stresses that although he walks on fake limbs and his brother doesn't even have a body, they continue on because they're hard work will be rewarded.
Does Kurt think this? No. He thinks everythign is predestined, and we should all suck it up and deal with it. Really? Billy can only suck it up and deal with it because he can see the future. Take a hypothetical situation. Let's say I have some terminal illness. If I were Billy, i'd be accepting because I'd know already if I lived or not. If I live, well then yay. If I die, well then, it was meant to be but there's nothing I can do. Now, let's say I'm a normal human being, and WHAM, I learn of this unfortunate situation. What do I do? I can't remain calm because there' s just too much unknown. So, I console myself. I tell myself that there's HOPE.
Which leads me to my next rant. BILLY PILGRIM LACKS ANY TYPE OF HOPE WHATSOEVER. What about Pandora's box? What about that unflinching emotion that carries people through so much??? It;s like Billy has all the hope sucked out of him when he acquired the ability to travel through time. It's because he longer needs it. He KNOWS what's gonna happen.
What i'm trying to say is, at first, I thought Vonnegut was very right. Accept, and move on. Don't dwindle on the pain. But in effect, he's also saying, don't hope, because things are already set in stone. I do not agree with this at ALL. I'd rather not know and still be able to dream.
~ceci
#6 - Madoka Magica
Let me try to sell you something: a show with a bunch of eighth grade girls who make contracts with a magical rabbit. They get to have one wish granted, and in return, they become "mahou shoujo" (magical girls) who fight witches. Oh, and also, the art in the first episode looks like it was drawn for elementary school kids. Sounds lame, right? I was surprised too, since a very trustworthy source had introduced this to me. But since I have depleted my list of "things to watch", I decided to give it a shot.
See? So anyway, first I watched the opening credits. I have to admit, it was clearly a blend of cardcaptor sakura, sailormoon, and the white rabbit creature reminded me of some pokemon/ digimon. I watched the first 10 seconds, couldn't take it anymore, and fast forwarded. Plot aside, I noticed immediately that the cinematography was top notch. But a show needs more than just smooth animation. I watched another ten minutes filled with frilly fighting outfits and magical wands that shot out sparkles. I had a rage-quit moment.
So a few days after I closed youtube (the flowers, sparkles and pink was really starting to get to me) I decided to read up on the Japanese earthquake (the new one. 7.4). And something interesting caught my eye. " ... Madoka Magica too dark to continue airing. It has been momentarily suspended. Resume date unannounced." wait...WHAT? Too dark? I reflected back on what I had seen a few days ago. No, that can't be right...
I went and satisfied my curiosity by watching the entire first episode. Eerily enough, as the episode continued, a suppressing, ominous atmosphere started to collect. This one part, what looked like paper cut-outs of tralfamadorians appeared except it was a mouth accompanied by an eye. It was drawn VERY realistically, and therefore hellishly scary. What made me realize that the anime might actually have substance, however, was when they made reference to the little white rabbit/cat thing as a human-faced carp. Which I soon found out was a real creature.
See? So anyway, first I watched the opening credits. I have to admit, it was clearly a blend of cardcaptor sakura, sailormoon, and the white rabbit creature reminded me of some pokemon/ digimon. I watched the first 10 seconds, couldn't take it anymore, and fast forwarded. Plot aside, I noticed immediately that the cinematography was top notch. But a show needs more than just smooth animation. I watched another ten minutes filled with frilly fighting outfits and magical wands that shot out sparkles. I had a rage-quit moment.
So a few days after I closed youtube (the flowers, sparkles and pink was really starting to get to me) I decided to read up on the Japanese earthquake (the new one. 7.4). And something interesting caught my eye. " ... Madoka Magica too dark to continue airing. It has been momentarily suspended. Resume date unannounced." wait...WHAT? Too dark? I reflected back on what I had seen a few days ago. No, that can't be right...
I went and satisfied my curiosity by watching the entire first episode. Eerily enough, as the episode continued, a suppressing, ominous atmosphere started to collect. This one part, what looked like paper cut-outs of tralfamadorians appeared except it was a mouth accompanied by an eye. It was drawn VERY realistically, and therefore hellishly scary. What made me realize that the anime might actually have substance, however, was when they made reference to the little white rabbit/cat thing as a human-faced carp. Which I soon found out was a real creature.
\So anyway, by the 3rd episode one of the main characters is killed. What's more interesting though, is the way that she dies. In most television shows, there's a dramatic moment in which the character is brutally wounded, then some inspirational speech about not giving up, then a sequence about the main character finding some inner, hidden strength and then defeating the evil being. In Madoka Magica, the girl simply gets her head bitten off. In the previous frame was an epic sword stance, then -boom- dead. There wasn't even a struggle, and only one of the girls watching cried. The other one said, "she had it coming. Kindness to a naivete."
This really made me think about the deaths in Slaughterhouse five, except darker in the sense that they don't come back. Yet the anime brings a message: treasure life. This bothered me all throughout SH5. Billy gets on the plane even though he knew it would crash and he also still spoke in public even though he knew he was going to get shot. It was as if he had adopted an indifference to the events happening around him because he was powerless to change it.
Even though acceptance is sometimes a good thing, we should always think about taking it a step further. Perhaps accept the inevitable, but continue living your life to the fullest every moment that you still have a beating heart and a working mind.
edit: April 17 th
omigosh xD I watched the most current episode of madoka magica and one of the main girls, homura, revealed that her magical ability is to travel through time! Not onyl that, but she does it to save her best friend who is doomed to die in the near future. Homura's been sending herself back in time in order to save this girl but each time she fails and the anime is airing her most recent attempt. This really got me thinking about Billy! -i'm so excited about this xD- What if Billy tried to change things at first??? What if, he was like the main character in The Time Machine by H.D. Wells? Everytime he tried to, let's say...save his wife, she died of some unforeseen circumstance? Then after the nth atempt, Billy got so depressed that he was subjected to watching death while being utterly powerless to stop any of it that he simply gave up and let it be? The again, what takes more courage? Simply accepting it or telling yourself that they were alive in some other dimension of time, or trying to fight time itself?
Poor Billy T.T
p.s. this almost completely contradicts my views in my pokemon post, but I feel like leaving the post their is amusing in the sense that even the tiniest influences can alter my mind state so much.
~ceci
Tuesday, 5 April 2011
#4 - Hannah.
Hannah was a girl who had been granted, or cursed, with the ability to travel through time. Eerily, Hannah had suffered depression for much of her life, and she noticed it was an insidious, yet volatile, type of thing. The kind of thing that snuck up on you when you weren't aware and left you just as spontaneously. It hadn't left Hannah, not yet, not at this particular moment in time, anyway. Perhaps the gift remained until you were too jaded to believe you ever had it.
Whatever the case, Hanna had accepted this new power the same way she had accepted everything else in life: nonchalantly. At first, she had no control over where it would take her, and so she made up her mind to simply play the part and let it be. Still, a strange prodding sensation told her that the answer to all her problems, the means of escaping a erratic, uncertain life, was the number 2000. Hannah knew she once knew the answer, but didn't know why it escaped her at the moment.
It was a rainy Monday afternoon at St. Johannsberg public school where Hannah attended grade 5. She was an unsavory child.
"Hey Lily, you're mommy made you those disgusting sugar cookies again?" her spittle visible from across the room. Her beady eyes darted to Lily's lunch bag. She didn't bother holding back her salivary glands despite having enjoyed this scene over a dozen times.
"No-nothing" Lily shrank into her chair and wrapped her arm around the bag protectively. Lily's mother had always worked exceptionally hard to make Lily's lunch, and it was always something fancy. Lily herself was a dainty little blonde who always wore her hair in pigtails with two pink bows neatly tied at the ends. She was a cute little creature.
"How about this? I'll give you my homemade cookies that I made myself if you show me what you have for lunch today." She produced an old zip-lock bag with five stale, vomit-coloured cookies and placed them on the desk.
"Umm, thanks, but no thank you."
"No thank you?" Hannah bellowed, " but I they're really good." She blew her nose into her hands and wiped them as best she could on her pants.
She then shoved the translucent bag in Lily's face, "come on, Lily, don't be mean."
But Lily stared at Hannah with large, frightened eyes without releasing her grip on her lunch bag, and Hannah's lip twitched with frustration.
"How about this?" If you don't eat the cookies, then I'll snip off those nasty little worms growing from the sides of your head. She was, of course, referring to Lily's pigtails. Lily didn't move.
"You don't believe me?" Hannah retrieved a pair of scissors from her desk, "how about I cut one off just to show you I can." Her nostrils flared, and she grabbed one of Lily's pigtails.
"Okay, okay! I'll eat them, I'll eat them! Please don't cut them off." Large tears started to well up in Lily's eyes. And she took a nibble off the edge of a cookie. Hannah grinned, but didn't release the pigtail. She watched Lily's face distort. She had, unsurprisingly, used salt instead of sugar.
Suddenly, the teacher walked in, "Hannah? You're mother's here."
A frail woman with disheveled hair walked in and threw her cigarette at Hannah. "In case you were wondering, you forgot the sugar in my coffee."
Hannah felt a burn on her arm, then a softness beneath her.
Hannah felt a burn on her arm, then a softness beneath her.
Hannah jumped off her bed and headed for the door.
"Is that brat up yet?" Hannah mumbled to herself.
"Is that brat up yet?" she heard a shrill scream from next door.
"God! In grade 7 and she still can't wake up on her own?" Hannah mouthed.
"God! In grade 7 and she still can't wake up on her own?" the voice echoed.
"Mom, I'm in grade 5." Hannah slung her bag over her shoulders, "and I'm leaving. I left breakfast on the table."
The door to her mother's bedroom opened.
"What kind of crap did you make today?" Hannah said to herself.
"What kind of crap did you make today?" her mother shuffled to the table and looked down. She spat in the eggs and took a sip of coffee.
"You expect me to drink this *stuff*?" Hannah waited for it.
"You expect me to drink this stuff?" she snarled, "and what the hell are you wearing? Those stupid pigtails make you look like a slut. You're not going to school like that." She grabbed a pair of scissors from the drawer and yanked Hannah's head closer by her ears. Two clean cuts and the braids fell silently to the floor.
Hannah leaned down and picked up the last chocolate from the ground. Then she ran. She cursed as a couple chip bags slipped out from underneath her arm, but she kept running. 3 blocks, 4 blocks, she was starting to get tired now. Then she crashed into the trailer.
"What took you so long?" Hannah heard a foot slam on the gas, and they were off. Robbing convenience stores along the south coast was a sorry excuse for a living, but it got them by. Hannah opened a can of Coke and leaned against the window.
"Hey Ted, how long till we reach the next town from here?" She knew the answer, but she was suppose to ask the question. So she did. She also knew that Ted had about an hour of life left, but she wasn't suppose to know that. So she pretended she didn't.
After a while, Hannah watched the street signs whisk by, counting them as they went. She never got past 10. The red Corola came out of nowhere and smashed into the side of the trailer where the driver sat. Ted was gone, like he would always be. Hannah checked his pulse like always, stepped out of the trailer like always, examined the driver of the Corola like always, then cried. The tears were the only things that felt different, more bitter, every time. Lilly's head was smashed against the wheel, and the airbag had not released, like always. She opened the passenger door and sat down next to Lily and braided her hair.
Hannah looked up and saw a burly man with arms thicker than she was. He stood before her importantly and cleared his throat.
"Hannah Rust, charged with the murder of Lily Hampton?" he pursed his lips but didn't look at her. Hanna stood up.
She followed him down a long hallway to a large steel door at the end. She went into the room and saw two officers silently standing in the corner. Hannah sat down and turned her head.
She smiled. 2000 volts.
-ceci
edit: edited out first 2 sentences cuz it was too similar to ellana's. Sorry dears : 3
edit: edited out first 2 sentences cuz it was too similar to ellana's. Sorry dears : 3
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